They say, being a parent is a hard job. Being a good dad is even more challenging – you never seem to be doing perfectly enough. And you can evaluate the results of your work only when your children grow up. What makes a man a good father? I’ve gathered the whole gamut of principles, traits, and recommendations found in blogs, websites, and magazines.
“The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.” ―Reed Markham
1. Ability to set priorities
Children are the most important thing in our life. This truth is immutable. But besides it, there are other concerns. But Children should not become the only value (this problem is most typical of mothers though). Dad is not a mandatory attribute of the environment – he has the right for his own free time and hobbies. Dad, living a full life serves as a better model of the future for the child. In addition, parental attention and children’s independence are mutually exclusive.
2. Saying “No”
Sometimes, kids drive us crazy with their demands and caprices. When emotions are “over the edge”, you do not need to persuade and convince the kid. Logical arguments will not be accepted, as well. But the solid “no” uttered by an authoritative parent is clear and understandable. Let the kid feel that you are always aware of his affairs and always understand what is good and what is bad.
Must read: The Rules Of Parent Child Communication
3. Belief in himself and his kids
A good father is the one who makes kids confident in their power. Say “I’m sure you can do it” or “I believe in you”, and you will give your children an enormous boost of inspiration and energy. Good fathers try never discourage their kids from doing what they like. Invest in kids’ hobbies and interests even if you don’t see any results and success in the beginning.
Also, serve as the example of a self-confident person. That teaches children to work harder and achieve the desired goals better.
4. Spending time with kids
“Being a father is more than earning money. It’s more than simply living together. It means participating in child’s life.”
Be present in your kid’s life. Play lego with your son, make a hairstyle for your daughter, read bedtime stories, cook them breakfasts, do anything you can for children to see you care. What I lacked in childhood was my father’s time – he always minded his own business. I think it’s a pretty typical parental mistake.
Time cannot be reversed. So, to avoid regrets when your kids grow up, spend your time with them! This is one of the most valuable gifts you can make!
5. Protection of his house and family
This is absolutely one of the most important man’s roles in the family. By ‘protection’ we don’t mean throwing at anyone who approaches your kids. Father is the defender who installs the feeling of safety, who can solve problems and let his children and wife know there is someone who will always back them up.
You don’t need to have tons of muscles for your family to feel safe and sound. Your ability to solve conflicts, deal with everyday problems and keep potentially dangerous people away is what makes man a good father. Such dads deserve most respect!
Moreover, a good father will never argue and assault his wife and kids in the presence of other people, even if his family members weren’t right. Everything will be discussed in private afterward – family is sacred, as well as its honor and dignity.
6. Does not obtrude his interests on kids
Play the games your kid likes, even if you hate them. Do not impose on your kid the rules of life and the norms of behavior imposed on you by your father, advertising, books, television, and the Internet. Your child looks like you. Your child behaves like you. But that does not make kid your property. Your task is to create conditions for them, and not to format their brain. You are just a conductor lighting their path with a torch.
7. Acts up to his promise
There’s nothing worse than people not keeping their promises, especially when it comes to family – people we rely upon. Small kids might forget what their father said he would do, but as they grow, they start noticing whether father’s words and actions coincide.
If you aren’t sure you can afford a new computer, or whether you’ll have a free morning to have a walk in a park, do not promise that to your kid. Make sure you’re as good as your words!
8. Wants his kid’s life to be better
Some people hope their kids will realize parents’ dreams they failed to fulfill so many years ago. Smart fathers (and mothers) let their children freedom stay who they are. Your son hates martial arts training? Your daughter brushes away all your attempts to make her a genius piano player? Do not push on your kids! Let them choose the hobby and their life path. They will be grateful for it.
What makes man a good father is the ability to find the golden middle between giving kids freedom and mentorship. Kids should be guided, but not restricted.
9. Gives advice but lets kids make their own mistakes
A good father is always up to open and sincere conversations with his children. He can listen and give advice, but he knows that the final decision is up to the kids. In some situations, a wise father would let his kid make a mistake and learn from it rather than interfere.
10. Stays cool
When kids do something wrong, naturally, they expect the father to punish them severely. It might seem a logical thing to do. But instead he restrainedly finds out what happened. After such cases, we notice his sympathy for us, dumb reproach and pain that we caused him. One can’t disagree that such a lesson will teach kids more than any screams or threats. Therefore, they’ll try never upset him.
“What makes man a good father is the ability to deal with problems without shouting and punishing kids – there are wiser, less traumatic solutions.”
11. Decent treating of his wife and kid’s mother
Father is the one who shows kids the model of relationships between a man and a woman. If you want your son to be a good husband and your daughter to choose a loving, caring partner, show them how a man should behave himself in the family.
Must read: Parents Fighting: The Biggest Mistake We Do
Never ever insult the mother of your child, even if you’re divorced. First and foremost, a good dad should treat women and kids with due respect and care. A decent man will take care of his kids and their mother in any situation, even if they don’t live together anymore.
12. Maintains discipline
In this article, we have already discussed the difference between discipline and criticism. A smart father knows how to make offsprings behave well without shouting and beating. So it’s important to establish the authority and make sure kids stick to some certain rules.
13. Does not bargain
This is not about manipulation, but rather your authority. To solve the conflict faster, we sometimes confront the child with the choice: “Clean up the room, otherwise no video games for today.” In other words, the naughty child must decide what is more important for them: to fulfill the requirement or to refuse themselves a pleasure. And this means that paternal authority is not so unshakable.
14. Serves as the example
“Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.” ―Charles Kettering
It’s not a secret that kids copy the behavior model of their parents, so father’s role in our lives cannot be overestimated. A good father will show his kids how to live, develop relationships, do business, communicate with people – all by his own example.
So, what makes man a good father? I guess it’s striving to make them better people and participation in their life. Listen to your heart – only you know what’s right for your kids.
What is your opinion? Share your thoughts on fatherhood in the comments!