The world is full of all sorts of bullies, including child bullies. There is hardly any place where there is no bully – such kids reside in every school class. That leads to another fact: the world is full of bully victims, too. Anybody could be a bully victim at any point of time, and we, parents, should be able to recognize when our kids are being assaulted. Let’s point out the major signs of bully victims.
Must read: The Bully Child: Causes and Consequences
Who Becomes Bully’s Victim More Often?
Most of the bully victims are kids who are either:
- Too short or too tall
- Too fat or too thin
- Very good or very poor at studies
- Very good or very poor at extra curricular activities
- Having some physical malformation or deformity
- Clumsy looking
By assaulting other kids, bullies assert themselves and nurse their wounded ego because of low self-esteem, jealousy, lack of parent’s love and so on.
Silent Bully Victims – Why Kids Don’t Share Their Problems With Us?
Victims of bullies go through tremendous mental pressure, harassment and humiliation. Bully victims are scared of the bully so much that they don’t want to tell it to anyone. Not even to their parents.
Firstly, because they are ashamed of telling about the humiliation they have been going through.
Secondly, they are scared. They think that if they tell it to the parents or the teachers, the bully would settle scores for that also and would be more furious than ever before.
Therefore, some kids choose to silently suffer all the miseries and keep the bully as ‘my secret bully’. This attitude encourages the bully as if the victim is telling the bully “Come, bully me more.”
Signs Of Bully Victims
The body and mind of bully victims work together to show some signs about this suffering. If we, as parents and teachers, notice those signs, we can get a clue that the child could be bullied by someone. Then we can find ways to deal with the problem. A bully victim may exhibit the following ‘symptoms’:
- Doesn’t want to go to a specific place, mostly school or playground. These could be the places where the child is being bullied. A kid wants to go to places where there is no bully as they are stressed with being bullied and always thinking ways to get out of the bully clutch.
- Talks to himself or cries during sleep. The child may even wet the bed. This happens because the incidents of bulling are dominating the child’s mind and he frequently has dreams about being bullied.
- Insists you to drop him to the school. If the child is being bullied in the school bus, he doesn’t want to go to school by school bus. For the child, it is a Bully bus.
- Looks lethargic or sick in the morning and seem better later during the day.
- Doesn’t feel like studying.
- Doesn’t speak well with confidence. Confidence level and self-esteem falls down.
- Remains silent and doesn’t participate in normal daily life activities.
- Wants to change his route to a specific place, like school or play ground. Because he is being bullied on the way to that place.
- Stops eating and looses weight OR eats too much, especially after coming from school. Because the bullies at school eats his lunch and he remains hungry.
- Always short of pocket money because the bully snatches pocket money. The child insists to raise the pocket money. If we don’t raise it, the child may steal money only to give it to the bully.
- Always loses his stationary items like pen, pencils, eraser etc., and can’t explain if it is asked for. Because the bully snatches these things and the children tell us that these things were lost.
- Doesn’t want to talk about the problem.
- Tells lies and makes excuses about many things.
- Suddenly become aggressive or may start bullying younger and weaker brothers, sisters, friends and neighborhood children etc. It happens because the child wants to ease out his frustration.
- Usually returns home having scars, bruises, scratches, cuts etc. or with upset clothes and school bag.
- May threaten or even attempt suicide.
As a rule, the changes in behavior are evident. Our task is to notice the signs of bully victims and help ki*ds solve the problem. By the way, there are various bullying helplines for adults and children.
Have your child ever been bullied? How did you solve the problem?