Aspiring to be perfect parents we embrace our kiddies with maximum attention and support helping with every little thing. And that seems to be the right thing to do. However, as the time passes, you have not an independent child, but a brat who appears to lack willing or motivation to do anything on his own (how come, if I’ve taught him everything?). What’s gone wrong? Probably, you just went over the top with your care and interference into kid’s activities.
Undoubtedly, reaching the balance between disregard and excessive help is a challenging task: your sensible motherly heart shrinks when you see the kid failing to do something, and you’re ready to run and assist right away. That’s when you need to pause for a moment and ask yourself “Is my participation necessary now, or a child should learn to do the thing on his own?” That can simplify the task greatly.
Before rushing to help your kid, stop and think whether your participation is mission-critical: kids need to make mistakes and try again to learn something new.
Of course, the best thing you can do is to serve a good example, and today we will learn how to make your child independent and at the same time sympathetic and kind. In other words, let’s find out how to reach the golden middle between being an excessively self-reliant person and a spoiled brat.
Keep in mind that before finally learning something important we make a lot of mistakes, but practice makes perfect. Give your little one the right to fall into errors, and you’ll be surprised by outcomes.
Buy a Pet
Let it be a kitten, a puppy, or some other fluffy creature. Since its birth, a kid gets used to the fact that all attention, honey and hug are given to him only, and cannot look after anybody else. A pet can be the first soul for your child to care about, to feed and to play with. Pets are especially important for families with one kid: if there’s no younger sibling, a furry friend will teach kid responsibility.
Make Good Deeds Together
While walking, feed birds with bread crumbles, buy groceries for your grandma, let your son or daughter help you to carry something from a supermarket. Let the child see that helping somebody is cool, pleasant and truly spirit-reviving.
We can bloviate about goodness forever. However, all of us are egoists to some extent – if we do something, we do it for some certain benefit. Psychologists claim there’s no such thing as pure unalloyed altruism. Even when we grant or do something without recompense, we get a lot of positive emotions and pleasure (turns out, it’s some sort of emotional compensation). To raise your kid a kind person, teach him to get pleasure and joy from good deeds. Let this association be firmly fixed in child’s mind.
Respect the Privacy of Your Kid
The worst example to teach your kid sharing with others is taking his toy by force and giving it to another child asking for it. That sounds silly, but some of us truly act so. We forget that smaller kids have wider ego: ‘I’ is me, my mom, and my toys. This is why children up to 3 years old don’t really like sharing with others. All you can do now is trying to explain that sharing is good. Making kid give away his possessions and applying force is the direct path to egoism and greed.
Read Kind-Hearted Fairytales
How to make your child independent, if there are no positive examples? Let books help you out. There are many fairytales that teach goodness and altruism.Praise the kind heroes: discuss their actions, and ask your child how he or she would behave in such situations.
Don’t Go To Extremes
Pretty often, greedy and possessive kids grow in families where moms try to teach kindness too actively. Of course, that triggers the opposite reactions. You don’t need to teach the kid to give his toys away, or prohibit hitting back in 100% of cases. Healthy egoism won’t hurt.
Although it sounds paradoxically, but in order to raise a self-sufficient son or daughter, you should care about yourself – find time to have rest and relax. That will teach the kid to respect the others’ needs just like his own ones.