Keep calm and carry on

Keep On and Carry On: How to Stop Snapping at Your Child

When you get back home from work all you want is just to fall on a sofa and have a rest. But it’s not about moms. There are a lot of things to do on work, and many more – around the house. But you’re not the only person strung up at the end of the day – your children may also be nervous. Often, they have a lot of questions, need your attention, help with homework, and so on. There’s no time to relax. As the result, many women start going off on their kids with some resolving to physical abuse, and others making verbal attacks assuming that words won’t hurt. A familiar situation? Feel that you’re too close to the boiling point? Here are 10 tips for you to stop snapping at your child.

1. Find Time for Rest

Probably, it seems to be the hardest task, but even 20-30 minutes of relaxation do wonders. Whenever you have time, get some shut-eye. You can also walk in a park – we all need to stay alone for some time. Don’t engage into house work and other businesses, just leave troubles behind.

2. Calm Down!

If you have a difficult job, and the work is stressful, your nervous system is always all out. If you keep on living in such regime, things won’t change anyhow. However, if you can’t change the present situation, make an effort to change your perception and attitude to it. Just think of it: kids don’t understand a lot of things. Usually, they never understand why their parents are so aggressive and angry. By showing your negative emotions, it won’t do any good. Try to settle your nerves, or take a sedative medication (these should be used cautiously).

3. Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

Some of your problems are actually not problems at all. Be fair. Don’t nit-pick whenever your kid makes something wrong. Your child shouldn’t get used to feeling blame anytime he or she fools around – only in exceptionally bad cases. Of course, you decide what is important, and what is not, but remember that your little one isn’t a tamed puppy – things may and will go out of your control. Kids cannot be perfect.

4. Think Over Your Relationships With Kids

Which problems do you face now? How to solve them? Analyze and make conclusions: if you cannot take the right decision, consult a specialist. Psychologists, books, Internet blogs – there are lots of ways to get information.

5. Spend Some Time With Children Every Day

Your kid needs you every day – there’s nobody as important and authoritative as you. So many events are taking place in your child’s life. He or she is growing and developing day by day, continuously and irreversibly. The closest person who can help to discover this world is you. Don’t miss this privilege! When you refuse your kids in communication, they feel rejected.

6. Express Admiration to Enjoy It in Return

If you want your children to respect you, act correspondingly. Your kid is a personality, even if a young one. In order to understand your child, you don’t have to be a professional psychologist – just imagine yourself at your son/daughter’s place. Look at this world by your kid’s eyes, and, most probably, you will understand the motives of their behavior.

7. Don’t Compensate Your Guilt With Gifts

Whatever you do or say, bribing your child with presents is a bad strategy – that’s where most psychologists will agree. The rewards should be deserved, or made just to show your love. If you keep buying things just to make amends to kids, they get used to it and expect gifts every time you have some quarrels or disagreements. What if they don’t get a gist next time? The outcomes can be even worse.

Remember: you’re an adult and you should be entirely responsible for everything you do. Stick to your sense of conscience and try to avoid negative situations. Stop snapping at your child and listen instead.

8. Don’t Overuse Punishments

Every mom chooses the way of punishment – it’s a family issue. While kids are small, punishments are rarely used – there’s no point in it until a kid starts understanding the cause-and-effect relationship. But when kids grow up, they stop reacting on some old tricks. Unwilling to surrender, a mom gets angrier and either makes punishment harsher, or uses it more often. This is where you need to be especially careful. The choice of methods and frequency of punishment have indirect impact on child psychology and character. Don’t disturb your kid’s inner harmony – interestingly, punishments in childhood form psychological complexes that persist in adult life.

9. Say “I Love You”

This word is important for all of us –  it soothes and embraces us with the feeling of safety. It connects us with invisible threats. Our kids are too vulnerable in this modern world without our support and care. Daily stressful fuss is your choice. Creating problems out of nothing is your choice. Whatever your worries are, kids need your attention and love right now. They love you, too, and need to know it’s mutual.

10. Enjoy Your Parenthood

Time flies, and you won’t notice how your kids grow up. Possibly, you’ll have regrets. To minimize them, try to enjoy the present moment.

Every day may not be good, but there’s always something good in every day

Kids don’t live with us for as long as it seems, and sooner or later they leave the parents’ house. Remember about it. Always.

 

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